An affair is painful for any relationship, including LGBTQ+ couples. They can break trust, hurt people, and have effects that last for a long time. Unfortunately, many partners in a love relationship may not even realize they are headed for an affair until it’s too late. Because of this, it’s important to know the signs of an affair. I’ll share some of the most common signs that someone is cheating on their partner to help you determine if an alarm is blinking on the dashboard of your relationship.
What defines an affair?
A physical or emotional connection with another person that violates the commitment or vows of the primary relationship and poses a threat to it. An affair is not defined by its duration, or the meaning of the relationship to the betrayer.
Not every warning sign means your partner is having an affair. Some of these actions could be caused by other things, like stress or changes in their lives. But if there is more than one red flag, it’s important to pay attention and talk to your partner in an open and honest way.
Not talking to each other
One of the most common signs that a person is having an affair is that they don’t talk to each other. When one partner emotionally pulls away and talks to the other less, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. If your partner suddenly stops telling you what they’re thinking and feeling and is always too busy or tired to talk, it’s time to pay attention.
Changes to habits
If your partner changes their routine without telling you why, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. For example, they might start staying out later, working late hours, or going out with friends more often. If they suddenly stop telling you where they are or don’t want to tell you about their plans, you should talk to them to find out what’s going on.
More secretiveness
A rise in secrecy is another common sign that someone is having an affair. If your partner starts to hide their phone, computer, or personal space from you, it could be a sign that they are trying to hide something. They might also keep their passwords more secret or refuse to let you use their devices. This could mean that they’re trying to hide something from you.
Not getting close
If your partner suddenly stops wanting to be intimate with you, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. They might start making excuses or stop touching each other at all. While this behavior could be attributed to other factors, such as stress or health issues, it’s important to have an open conversation about what’s going on.
Changes in their appearance
When someone is cheating on their partner, they might start to care more about how they look. They might change their wardrobe, put on more makeup, or groom themselves more often. They might start going to the gym more often, get their hair cut differently, or even get plastic surgery. This could signify they are trying to make an impression on someone else.
Emotional distance
Emotional distance is another sign that someone is having an affair. Your partner might start to seem less interested in you and less interested in what’s going on in your life. They might not be as kind and caring as they used to be. This could mean that they are putting their emotional energy into someone else.
Defensiveness
When you ask your partner about their behavior, if they get angry or defensive, it could be a sign that they are hiding something. They might get defensive if you ask them where they are or if you say something about your worries about how they act. This can be a sign that they are trying to get people to pay attention to something other than what they are doing.
Spending secretly
If your partner starts spending money behind your back suddenly, it could be a sign that they are cheating on you. They might start paying for things with cash instead of credit cards or buy things they can’t explain. This could be a sign that they are trying to hide the fact that they are having an affair.
More fights
If your partner starts picking fights or acting more argumentative out of the blue, it could be because they are feeling guilty.
Lack of enthusiasm for plans
When someone is cheating on their partner, they may start to lose interest in making plans with them. They might not want to plan anything for the next few weeks or months. This can be a sign that they don’t know what the future holds with you.
Change in behavior towards your friends and family
If your partner gets cold or distant with your friends and family suddenly, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. They might avoid going out or talking to your family and friends. This behavior can be a sign that they are feeling guilty or that they are trying to distance themselves from your relationship.
Suddenly developing new hobbies or activities
When someone is having an affair, they might become interested in new hobbies or activities they weren’t interested in before. This can be a sign that they are trying to impress someone else or that they are using these things to hide the fact that they are having an affair.
Changes in how they talk to you
If your partner suddenly changes how they talk to you, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. They might start to use a different language or talk in a way that doesn’t seem like them. They might also stop talking to you as much or become more secretive when they do talk to you.
Change in how your partner acts sexually
If your partner suddenly changes how they act when you have sex together, it could be a sign that they are having an affair. They might want to try something new or become more daring in a way that seems unusual for them. They might also become less interested in having sex with you or stop having sex with you altogether. This can signify that they are more interested in someone else sexually.
What to do if you see signs that your partner is having an affair
If your partner shows any of these signs, it’s important to talk to them about it in an open and honest way. Start the conversation without making any accusations, and be willing to hear what they say. Tell them that you’ve seen changes in how they act and are worried about what they may mean. Ask them to tell you the truth about what’s going on in their life and how they are experiencing you in your relationship.
During this time, be sure to take care of yourself. Dealing with the possibility of an affair can be incredibly stressful and emotional. Take time for yourself, talk to a friend or therapist you can trust, like at gaycouplestherapy.com
Some signs of an affair are small and easy to miss, but it’s important to know what they are. By noticing the early warning signs, you can deal with the problem before it gets out of hand and work to rebuild trust and communication in your LGBTQ+ relationship.
Cheating can happen in any relationship, no matter how strong or happy it seems. It has nothing to do with you or your relationship. Instead, it’s a choice your partner has made. If you find out your partner is cheating, you should give yourself time to deal with your emotions and get professional help to figure out what you want for the future.
If you decide to stay in the relationship, it will take time and work to rebuild trust and communication. With the help of an expert couples therapist, you and your partner can have open and honest conversations together, set boundaries, and work to address any underlying issues in your relationship. Couples therapy can also help you and your partner get back together.
Ultimately, it’s easy to miss the signs that your partner is having an affair, but it’s important to pay attention to changes in their behavior. By noticing these warning signs early on, you can deal with any deeper problems in your relationship, hopefully, before an affair has occurred, and work to rebuild trust and communication.
